Getting to Know Hamilton Burger
by SadaraLochlan
Summary: District Attorney Hamilton Burger gets roped into telling stories about his personal life.


**AU version where Hamilton and Alexandra met when they were younger and have been married for some time.**

"So, Hamilton…," Perry Mason said as he scooted in to the booth the group was shown to. "Do we get to hear the story of how you and Alexandra met?"

District Attorney Hamilton Burger's large blue eyes widened in horror. He was enjoying a rare victory against the legendary defense attorney in the courtroom earlier that day; and that meant he had to cough up an interesting or amusing story about his personal life during the celebratory dinner out at Marchand's. Given the rarity of Burger's triumphs against Mason in the courtroom, Burger remained a mysterious and enigmatic character. Mason was usually the lucky fellow who had to tell the evening story, but somehow he too had managed to remain mysterious. Everyone around the table couldn't help but wonder if Mason actually made some of them up. Sometimes though, the attorneys took a break and put one of their other companions on the spot, like Lieutenant Tragg, Paul Drake, or Della Street.

Drake often tried to squirrel out of the spotlight by lamenting that he had no personal life as a result of Mason's eleventh hour errands. Such excuses were only met by Della's knowing smirk and remarks that Drake must have had a private life before working for Mason.

Marchand's was still fairly quiet. The case had been solved fairly early that afternoon for a change and many people were still at work. The fact that there was no wait time at the restaurant that afternoon was a rare perk for the small group. The waitress dropped by to take drink orders and then disappeared again, leaving them to their own devices.

For Hamilton Burger, the coming whiskey shots would help to loosen his tongue and relax him enough to be the storyteller for the evening. It surprised not only his audience, but Burger himself, that he wasn't always comfortable being the center of attention when he spent so much time in front of an audience of sorts in the courtroom as the district attorney. He supposed it was that he simply wasn't too given to discussing his private life; however it was his turn according to the rules they all agreed on.

"How Alexandra and I met, huh?" Burger murmured softly, obviously recalling the memory. His voice normally carried easily, but had softened with a softness and wistfulness that the others had never been privileged to hear before. Della's hazel eyes widened with surprise at Burger's tone. She loved stories like the one she expected to hear from Burger and she was all ears for the sharply dressed district attorney to get on with the tale. She glanced over at Tragg whose amused expression suggested he knew the story already.

Mason lit up a cigarette and passed his lighter around as he looked at Burger expectantly; his big blue eyes alight with amusement and anticipation. The one payoff of a loss to Burger was learning more about his opponent. And Burger was postponing the inevitable by perusing the menu finally before the waitress returned. Mason had to admit that they did need to make some decisions about food before the campfire stories could begin and he picked up his own menu.

The drinks arrived a few moments later and Burger immediately downed the shot of whiskey before giving the waitress his order. He pondered how he wanted to tell his story while the others took turns ordering. Actually the first thing he pondered was if he should ask Alexandra to dye her hair back to its natural dark brown. He wasn't digging the blonde much.

Drake took a long drag on his own cigarette and exhaled a large smoke plume into the perfectly good oxygen around them. "Alright, out with it, Hamilton, before I have to investigate."

"Alright, alright," Burger chuckled, knowing that he'd hedged enough on this for the evening. "Alexandra and I met at a mutual friend's barbecue about 25 years ago; and it is the most embarrassing story ever because I found it nearly impossible to ask the girl out because I was too tongue tied to speak."

Raven haired Perry Mason smirked as he glanced over at Drake triumphantly. "It seems I picked a good one."

Burger shook his head with a playful sigh. "How do I get roped into these things… Maybe I don't win on purpose just to get out of doing this."

"We can always adjust the rules if you'd like to have a turn more often…," Mason suggested smugly.

W^^^W^^^W

_Twenty year old Hamilton Burger bounded up the porch steps of his best friend, George Archer's house and knocked. They'd been practically inseparable best friends since grade school and considered each other's homes to be home as well so Burger opened the door and entered the house to find the barbecue in full swing. He meandered his way to the backyard to find George out there flipping burgers on the grill. A number of other partygoers were either in the pool or chatting in small groups around it. _

_George looked up from the grill as Burger appeared beside him. "About time you showed up," the equally young redhead teased. "Don't go anywhere. There's someone I want to introduce you to."_

_The taller man dashed off into the crowd, leaving Burger to well, flip burgers until George returned. Inwardly, Burger groaned. This could only mean one thing… George had found another girl he hoped Burger would take to as George was wont to do periodically. So far, none of the setups had worked out; largely because George was a better looking guy and in general, had an easier time socializing with women. It also didn't help that Burger found a different personality type attractive than George did. George was still into super glamorous girls who enjoyed being out on the town all the time. Burger would be happier with a quieter, bookworm, girl next door type that he could have an intelligent conversation with. Once George worked that out they might have better luck with these setups._

_As Burger suspected, George returned a few minutes later with a pretty brunette in tow; and Burger found himself doing a doubletake, his big blue eyes widening appreciatively.. Taking in the girl's appearance, Burger had to admit that his best friend was moving more in the right direction. In general, the future district attorney preferred brunettes._

_George gestured to Burger before stuffing his hands back in his pockets. "Alexandra, this is my best friend that I've been telling you about, Hamilton Burger. Hamilton, Alexandra Mullen. She's a friend of my friend, Ruby."_

_Shyly, Burger extended his hand and Alexandra took it firmly, but gently. They shook hands in awkward silence for a moment. In his imagination, Burger had prepared for what he would say in moments such as these, but in this particular moment he couldn't recall a one of them and instead an embarrassingly lame and shy "hi" was all he could muster._

_Alexandra smiled warmly, but not without a little amusement at Burger's awkwardness. He was a fairly handsome guy with a bright, genuine smile that she suspected was seen only occasionally._

_"Hi," she replied._

_"Hi," he said again and then realized he had been the first one to say that and wanted to kick himself in the ass._

_Alexandra's aqua blue eyes danced merrily with humor and she glanced over at George who was trying desperately not to laugh as he went back to the grill and started loading up plates. Usually Burger wasn't quite so speechless around the ladies, even the glamorous ones so George couldn't help but wonder if he'd struck gold with this one. He hoped so. His hapless blond friend needed something to do besides study for law school._

_"Well, I'll leave the two of you alone to get to know each other," George said._

_Burger had to confess that this time the thought didn't displease him, but the awkwardness of trying to get to know each other was still as daunting to him as ever. _

W^^^W^^^W

"There! Are you happy now, Perry?"

"Hardly," Mason said, lighting up another cigarette and still looking highly amused and smug.

Drake nodded. "Yeah, we want the *whole* story."

"Up to the wedding," Della voted. "We've got time."

"To get to the proposal at least if he tells stories as short as that one," Mason nodded.

Burying his face in his hands, Burger groaned. "This victory is going to be the death of me…"

Mason smirked evilly. "I always win, Hamilton. Somehow."


End file.
